Late Night? Let's go!

I got Late Night!

Toshiie Maeda's wife died in a tragic fire back in Sunset Valley. Looking to escape the small town, he and his little son Toshiro moved to Bridgeport to start anew. Unfortunately since Bridgeport is a big city with an even bigger population, Toshiie couldn't find a place to live... so he's shacking up with his nephew Keiji...

(bad idea) BUT he was so cute and Toshiie loves him so whatever, I figure. Plus Toshiie is sexier as a DILF

Anyway the first thing I did was (after fixing a bunch of people up in CAS), was... HOT TUB!

I didn't have any sexy Sim ladies handy, so Toshiie and Keiji are just two manly straight guys in a hot tub together.

I think Toshiie just thought about that a bit too hard.

Or apparently not... hey, Toshiie, don't bash your ex-wife, your son's right there!

Keiji: Does the steam make my butt look big?

Toshiie: I AM NOT LOOKING

Keiji: I think I dropped my watch. Watch watch watch--

Toshiie: OW! That's not your watch!

This is just strange

I furnished their apartment with Keiji in mind, I figure Keiji owned the place before Toshiie's wife left him (or died, whatever), and Toshiie moved in with Keiji for comedy as a last resort.

Anyway you'll take note of the decor

I wanted to move the dart board directly over the crib, but moveobjects on was having its period and being a ****. T__T

Toshiie says good night to his boy

I take advantage of the situation to get in my first DAT ASS of the game (EA, I want an ass slider)

This made me lol

Try not to kill your kid, Toshiie, your wife left you so it's not like you can make another one

I should stop telling him his wife left him

Toshiie: I dunno if it's the swords hanging above my head, the dartboard above my son's head, or the tiger stripe wallpaper, but something about this place is making me fear for my damn life.

Toshiie: Is that a cannon aimed at me? KEIJI!

Keiji: Hi, honey, I'm hooooome~

Toshiie: Why do you have a cannon aimed at your bed?

Keiji: It prepares me for attack scenarios. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Toshiie: You're insane! And this wallpaper hurts my eyes!

Keiji: What's wrong with it? It matches my shirt!

Toshiie: -__-

Keiji: Bored now!

Toshiie: You have the attention span of a squirrel!

Keiji: Hey, I got an idea! LET'S PARTY!

Toshiie: But we don't know anyone.

Keiji: That's why we make friends! WE ARE SO GETTING LAID TONIGHT!

Toshiie: I HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE MY WIFE DIED~

Keiji: WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999--

Keiji: AUGHHH! What is that odious stench?!

Keiji: Smells like... BABY.

Toshiro: (Derp. What's that green toxic cloud looming over my head, I wonder?)

Toshiro: (AAAAH it's ME! HELP BEFORE THE STINK WAVES MELT MY BRAAAAIN)

Keiji: This is why I have no kids.

Toshiie: That you know of.

Keiji: Out of sight, out of mind!

Toshiie: That's no excuse!

Toshiie: God dammit this sucks. I want a car.

Keiji: I want you to get off my lap, but we can't ALL have what we want!

This picture looks awkward

Toshiie wants to be a VIP. Unfortunately I have no way of doing this yet, so I told him to bribe the bouncer.

The bouncer decided to be a **** about it.

So Toshiie goes to sit at the bar with the riff-raff. And this guy sucks at bartending, he dropped it every time.

Meanwhile, the stupid babysitter can't get inside Toshiie's house, so Toshiro passed out. Whoops.

BUBBLE BLOWER THINGY!

They both got the Romantic moodlet from the bubbles. But there were no women around since this stupid club is EMPTY.

This is only pictured because HE'S THINKING ABOUT WATERFALLS XD

I tell Toshiie to skinny dip Toshiie gets this genius idea on his own

Toshiie: The censoring isn't distorted, IT'S REALLY THAT BIG.

Keiji swipes Toshiie's clothes.

Keiji: AGGH I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE NAKED WTF

Muscle slider, how I love thee

Toshiie, you dirty **** you

Keiji gets home first and it would seem his baby cousin is growing on him

Toshiie meanwhile is still a dunderhead

Toshiro is looking much better today, it's amazing what BEING FED AND PUT TO BED does to a kid

He has his father's nose, I'm so proud

There is only one bed. :|

HELLO MUSCLES

I mean, uh, the kid is crying. Toshiie, tell us how you really feel.

Toshiie: If you change a diaper, the baby poops on. If you teach a kid to use the potty, then you never have to change a diaper again. Philosophy.

Keiji: KILL IT WITH FIRE

This is as close to masturbating into a mirror as a Sim can get, I think

Toshiie: IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE THIS SEXY

Keiji: Um

Toshiie: If I was a woman I wouldn't be able to get my hands OUT OF YOUR--AHHHH! Keiji! What are you doing in here!?

Keiji: WOULD YOU GET OUT? I gotta pee!

Cousin bonding

Meanwhile, Toshiie...

Toshiie: HOW CAN SOMETHING SO SMALL SMELL SO BAD!?

Back to bed.

Awkward.

And now Toshiro's awake.

Keiji is angry. Understandably so.

Does anyone in this family wear clothes when they sleep?

Like father

Like son

They even whine about being hungry in similar fashions

You must be bored to tears by this point

Keiji's drowning his sorrows in ice cream. THIS IS A BORING CITY THERE IS NO GIRLS

Toshiie has the solution: LET'S GET JOBS.

So jobs they get, they both joined the Athletic career and now they're in the gym pumping iron. I know you're thrilled.

Someone wanna tell me why a guy who looks like THIS is even BOTHERING with the gym!?

And this, for that matter

(I forgot why I give Toshiie a shirt for Athletic-wear o_O)

Pathetic.

Oh look Toshihisa's here

Keiji found this chick (Mina!) at the gym, but as she is not interested in giant sweaty wimpy blonde men, nothing became of it. (Big words for the woman with toxic gas coming out of her armpits.)

MAN UP TOSHIIE

Keiji: So we gonna go out and get ****ED UP TONIGHT?

Toshiie: I can't, I promised Toshiro we'd watch Toy Story 3.

Keiji: -___-

Toshiro was left alone and ignored by the babysitter AGAIN

Toshiro: (WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STAY HERE AND TAKE CARE OF ME)

Keiji: Thanks for pickin' him up, Toshiie, I'd feel kinda bad if I hit your kid with another dart...

Toshiro: WAAAAAAH

Toshiie: **** MY LIFE

Toshiro: WAAAAAAH

Toshiie: WHY DID MATSU GET TO BE THE DEAD ONE

Once Toshiro stops CRYING, he's cute again

See, cute

ASS

Damn shirt. Foiled again.

Oh and Toshiro has a mummy teddy. I bet you can't guess what it's named.