Introducing... Jen the Self-Sim

Alrighty introducing Jen 1.0, aka the first version of my self-Sim! You'll also see a couple of my Sims for the first time, including Sun Ce, his wife Da Qiao, and the elusive Ma Chao... but I don't want to give anything away. :D





Anyway I finally ran into my self-Sim in the gym with Ling Tong. Of course she's at the gym, my self-Sim really IS just like me lmao






My self-Sim gets more tail than I do. IT'S HUMILIATIGN

My sister comes into my room when I was playing the other day to tell me something, when she sees my Sim and Ling Tong making googly eyes at each other.

Sister: Um. Who is that.
Me: Ling Tong? From Dynasty Warriors?
Sister: ...ooookay... *runs off*
Me: SQUEE I DIDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER STORY~

Self-Sim (forevermore referred to as 'Jen') has a truck too



And she smashes into taxi cabs left and right. Good thing there's no insurance companies in Bridgeport.

Anyway, I put her and Ling Tong in the big mansion MWAHAHAHAHA I'M RICH

Only +250 LTW points for THAT? Jen's ambitions are lacking, apparently.



More stupid clear water, Ling Tong still wants to knock Jen up. NO JENITONGLETS!!




Jen hides Tong's clothes. Mwahahaha





I don't know why he's [i]surprised[/i]...

Jen still wants to be the 5-star chef. Of all the save files I've played, she's never made it to the big leagues. I wonder if you can be a celebrity chef in Bridgeport.



I want that bikini. I have like 12 already, but I don't have a hibiscus-pattern one =(



Seeing as they are not currently married (which I thought they were), they went ahead and got married.



Cue ring fangirling (fanboying, in Tong's case)





Ling Tong can also play the piano! IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN'T DO?



Judging by Jen's face, apparently not @__@




Coming up for air. Right. Sure. Uh-huh. That's what I call getting crap past the radar.

I kidnapped Jen and Ling Tong and dragged them forcibly to a bar. When they came around, of course the place was empty, except for a celeb. I forgot her name, but talking to her turned Ling Tong into a two-star celebrity.

Jen meanwhile was not about to suck up to some pudding, so instead she just... fangirled her ring some more.



Meanwhile, THIS WAS LURKING ON MY HOME LOT



Jen teleports home, and... FIGHT!





Victory, thy name is Jen!




But the burglar swiped Ling Tong's piano, and apparently there's no way to get your stuff back from a burglar? :(

The aformentioned celeb, with a different hairstyle



Weird looking bartender



They eat onion rings with knives and forks? SERIOUSLY!? GAH



What was I saying about no insurance companies in Bridgeport?



I don't know why this happened



I forgot why I swapped back to Toshiie's house, but Toshiro has the place to himself as usual




Now to Sun Ce and Da Qiao's house!

Sun Ce still likes to dance around in his underwear (YAY)



And there's an annoying glitch in the house. I try to zoom in, and the entire house disappears. Observe.




Sun Ce and Da Qiao are basically the OTP of the Sim world. Three kids, a gigantic house, Sun Ce's like level 8 or 9 of the Professional Athlete career, Da Qiao's a professional author making a ton of royalties, ect. BORING.





Meanwhile Da Qiao finds a use for that elevator she _insisted_ Sun Ce have put in




Sun Ce's never going to question her impulsive buys again, methinks~

Sun Ce's at work, the boys are playing, and Da Qiao's working on her next great novel when...



Da Qiao: DAMMIT




Da Qiao: You got me pregnant again!
Sun Ce: How can you be pregnant and in the hot tub?
Da Qiao: Even though I've had three kids, this dumb game thinks I apparently can't recognize the signs of pregnancy, so they're acting like it's some big surprise. I dunno.
Sun Ce: (too many big words) OKAY HONEY :D




(See, I can keep the hot tubs G-rated when I want to)

Of course, Da Qiao has to run off to vomit again.



The next day, I spot a celebrity so I made Sun Ce teleport to her house to impress her.





Sun Ce doesn't have insurance either.



Sun Ce's off to visit his good friend Ling Tong (Sun Ce is a three-star celeb, Ling Tong is a two-star), while Jen is a bit too happy to meet her husband's new friend...





Da Qiao is pregnant and off to Toshiie's party. Sun Ce, Jen and Ling Tong were not invited, so they decide to crash. BWAHAHA



Oh, and Ma Chao is here. Ma Chao has a vegetarian girlfriend and an insatiable skank for a little sister, yet the two of them never leave the apartment while Ma Chao is always out and about. Then again, he lives with two crazy women.



And, uh, yeah.

Ling Tong: WHOA THERE, BUDDY. Hold the damn phone.
Ma Chao: Is there a problem?



Ling Tong: Yeah. The problem here is when my wife gets a look at you, her brain's gonna jump right in the gutter and she's going to be saying things about licking a smorgasboard of condiments off of your--



Jen: TONG! Are you saying stuff about me being a--!!!!!



Jen: Y helo thar my name's Jen what's youuuuurs~
Ma Chao: I am Ma Chao! It is a pleasure to make your acquantaince!
Ling Tong: The ink's not even dry on the marriage license! JEN! I didn't even get to knock you up yet!



Jen: THERE'S SO MANY MEN HERE (all of whom are less attractive than my husband of couuuurse~)



Jen: YES~ PRIME MEAT IN THE HOT TUB!
Toshiie: There's meat in the hot tub? WHERE?



Ling Tong: JEN WHAT ARE YOU--
Jen: This man is undressing me with his eyes! SELF-DEFENSE!
Toshiie: I didn't do anything! She has a wedding ring! And she's insane!



Toshiie: The last thing I need is any crazy people who remind me of--



Keiji: HI TOSHIIE
Toshiie: See what I mean!?



Jen: Tong, what are they doing?
Ling Tong: I feel uncomfortable. I would like to leave.






Ling Tong: You guys are a bunch of weirdos. I'm out of here.
Keiji: I've never been so insulted in all my life!
Toshiie: I'll bet.



Ling Tong: Do I have to put a leash on you? STOP BEING SUCH A PERVERT
Jen: Your ass is the best ass around, you have nothing to worry about~



This is how Jen reads the paper



Jen + Mixology = Disaster







Time to find something to do, Ling Tong doesn't get off work for another few hours... time to make some new friends!




Meanwhile, boring Kai just sits there watching TV. Ignoring ME! Humph.



But if there's anyone who can get Kai's panties in a bunch, it's Kunoichi and her troublesome ways (innuendo not intentional)

Kunoichi: Hey Kaiiii~ let's go out! Party! I can play my bass! We should find a bar and get totally ****faced! Let's goooo~!
Kai: (OH MY GOD SHE'S CHATTERING AGAIN)






Kunoichi: Are you just going to sit there and ignore me all day? IT'S HUMILIATING!
Kai: Well, maybe not all day...



Kunoichi: Very funny. I was thinking, we can get the whole gang together and PARTY, y'know? I can call Yukimura, I bet he's not doing anything~
Kai: Yeah yeah sure sure--WAIT, did you say YUKIMURA!?
Kunoichi: Hell yeah~ I'll call 'im now, you just sit there and look all stripperific!
Kai: OK, sure--HEY!




Kai does look kinda ****-y, now that I look at it.



So Kai's working on throwing some food together when Yukimura shows up...



Kunoichi: Hey Kaaaaaai, look who's here to seeeee youuu~



Kai: AAAAGH! I--I'm not mentally prepared for this!! H-hi, Yukimura.
Yukimura: Hi there! That looks great!
Kunoichi: It's a SALAD, it can't possibly look great--unless you mean Kai's ass, in which case it would look great if it wasn't so GIGANTIC~



Kai: ARGHHH I AM GOING TO KILL YOU-- Yukimura, uh, make yourself at home, we're, uhh--
Yukimura: If you say so! :D



Kunoichi: Cut to them making out in 3... 2... 1...



It took ALL NIGHT, but sure enough, they got together




This picture is just epic



So now Kai has a boyfriend, Kunoichi has her darts, and I'm wondering where the hell Mitsunari is so I can hook them up already!! SPOILER ALERT except nobody cares so whatever XD




And the most realistic picture of my self-Sim to date:



Thaaaaat's it for now *takes bow*

I gotta get that character sheet up! @__@